wistful musings::museful wistings

went out today for an EXCELLENT round of blatant, no-holds-barred omnivorism at Sizzlers, and spotted a shuai guy, whom my mum said was too beefy (HARHAR - beefy? next to me?) and too short. i promptly stood up when he came around and cleaved my hand through the air from my head to his and discovered he was, indeed, shorter. so my mum didn't have parallax error after all :) and the poor shuai-but-short guy was pretty terrorized by my bizarre air-cleaving thing so he decided to hide in the kitchen to wash dishes haha :D

oh, but his spectables-bound eyes were so... electric! haha i was trying to electrify him, too. but my dad decided to call me just as i was switching on the highest voltage and so poor dad got an eyeful of highly energized electrons haha :) my mum was hooting in paroxyms whilst my highly charged dad simply blinked for several seconds with that glazed-bemused look. haha! mustn't waste my pretty eyes what, right. :D anyway my very screwed seduction attempt turned our pleasant, placid lunch conversation towards my parents' turbid courtship back when my mum was sweetly 17 and my dad, 21. woohoo! they really did do some very kinky stuff at sembawang beach, haha :) it's quite horrendous to have to listen to how despo my dad was though haha but then again... my mum was the "school flower" so obviously it's about as hard to catch her attention as me trying to grasp the concept of sporocytic self-incompatibility. :)

anyway, besides bad skin, 2 spare Michelin tyres around my non-existent waist, thick glasses and a totally rotten sense of crude humour, i must say i do stand a chance of being married after all, cos just now on TV something very wide wrapped in a vast sheen of blue satin declared that she was happily married. i suppose her husband either likes extreme sports in bed (hyuk hyuk) or else is none other than Mr Hulk himself :D

ah. this reminds me. time to do some research on how the Rafflesia flower attracts its pollinators hehe :) i could jolly well take a leaf from its dating guidebook :D