i watch
through the frosted
glass
into the frosty heart

thinking i knew you
would be better
someday
but better

and then now
propped shaking inside
knowing better
that you would not

how could i let go?

and you would never answer
again
never to look me in the eye
gaze
into my tormented soul
screaming for relief
and soothe it
with the eloquent eyes
that mesmerised me from the start
when i first fell
irrevocably in love
with you

and my heart freezes over again
i feel i'm about to break
i cannot hold myself together
when you're there
fighting a losing battle
all on your own

i cannot see you
it's so wrenching
to have to stand here
and be strong
to assure the multitudes of people
that i'm alright
that you'll be alright
when we're not

when you go, will you take me with you?
i'll be much much happier
i'd much rather
i were the one
wrapped in tubes
tubes among tubes among tubes
all hissing
and none of the life they give is helping you
or me
heal

i'm hurting so much inside
can you feel it? or have you turned numb
to the pain
i want you to feel the pain
i want you to reawaken
so that i can fall in love with you
all over again

i wish i could die with you.