suppressed:subdued:submerged

walking under the
thinly grey gruel rain
barely sustaining
the wretched chlorotic
malnourished
jade green blades
of nothing (sideways)

fingering
ectoplasmic fabrics
fluid upon the tips
coarse upon my grated nerves

they don't sooth anything
but my suppressed need to scream relief -

the monstrous Mr Hyde raises its head
and growls backwards
at my cowering conscience
driving it forward
forward to destruction

cannot subdue my inner demons
when i feed on its vindicative spirit
to live

[it's barely alive; after all - i'm killing it with my need to reassure myself
not evil, really.

not evil.]

drowning in self-pity
reassuring salve
and another drive of the stake into my never-dying death.