a happy harping harlot hums hymns

i love my life.

life is beautiful. how could one not get intoxicated in the ethereal substance that feeds our veins and nourishes our thoughts like heavenly manna? ok, maybe u're one of those cynical people who refused to claim Israel after the Lord brought them to the threshold of the promised land, but i say: For once, throw down your blindfold of fear and cowardice, and behold the world.

life is goOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! *mimics Australia's yodelling travel ad*

ok i'm not madder than i've always been, but just in case you're scratching flakes of your scalp off trying to think what on earth made me so darned happy, the answer is: JESUS!!! (and NO, i'm NOT cursing. bleah.)

benzene-NANA turned 19 officially at 9-something PM yesterday. anyway that's rather inconsequential. the thing is, it was a very non-descript day. no trio of bright yellow canaries serenading me from the windowsill in the morning when i blearily took my deathly-stinky first yawn. no streamers cascading from the ceiling and tickling my good ole philtrum into an unholy spasm of morning allergies a la KNW-style. no booming party music. not even a watered-down, wavery rendition of the centuries-old Birthday Song by some cranky, arthritic Old Man Symphony down in Some Ulu SympRetirees' Club.

i got up, realised i was going to be late for service for the THIRD FREAKING TIME in a row, thought of the UNHOLY amount of time i always spend trying to decide what to wear, and shrieked softly. the result sounded like a cross between a strangled cat with heart failure and a pureed frog.

i raced through the morning washup (meaning 15mins), grabbed 2 closest coordinates from the ironing rack, and squeezed myself into them. threw on the string of faux pearls and combed my hair. appraised myself critically in the mirror with barely-open eyes. i actually looked presentable - a black lace halter, a brown tiered flare skirt, pearls and a white (actually, greying) cardigan. ok. out of the house i ran, and into service i barged (raising a number of eyebrows - not least cos i forgot to put on the darned cardigan BEFORE i entered the hall of worship, so i was too uncovered for my own good. but i rectified this eyesore immediately *grins innocently* haha) and sang and worshipped and prayed.

and forgot the time. i realised i was 1 HOUR late for work at the darned bookstore by the time service was over. sigh. but i was happy that i didn't miss the service, cos it was worthwhile. we were talking about revival that day, and i decided to make my birthday wishes in accordance with the theme. amongst other things (too mundane to mention hurhur) i prayed for a revival in my faith, and for renewed happiness and content.

on my harried trip down to the bookstore, i received several messages from my parents, regarding the long-un-set-up-ed modem (which now IS *grins proudly*) and my whereabouts. and u know how ornery i can get when i'm hot, bothered, late and stuck in a mobile sardine can.
i gave clipped, short answers to their enquiries and felt guilty afterwards (same old thing everytime) and arrived at the bookstore, with all of the above, PLUS a heap of guilt to boot. an excellent way to start a birthday. i noticed a man with arms laden with a bouquet and cakebox reading the titles on display in the window, and gave a cursory smile at him as i opened the shutterdoor. he followed me into the store. i expected him to pick out a book or browse around the store, but he didn't. what he did changed my day dramatically and reinforced my belief that God hears and answers prayers. especially birthday ones :)

the man held out the bundle of things on his hands towards me.
"Serene Tan? This is for you."
"Wh-at?" my eyes plopped wetly onto the floor in surprise.
"Happy Birthday." he beamed.
momentarily, i understood. the very people i have been curt to just 10mins before have arranged for a surprise delivery of a birthday cake and bouquet to my workplace, for the simple reason that they LOVE me.

i felt so overwhelmed i didn't know whether to cry, or to laugh, or to kiss the man. i chose the 2nd cos it was the least socially embarrassing. after i signed for the things, i called up my parents immediately and thanked them effusively. but i felt so bad that it was over the phone, for i would have given anything to have them right before me so i could hug them and kiss them for what they have done for me. it was a watershed moment. at that point, i understood that my parents are truly crazy, and that they love me without any qualms and conditions, and the love is unfettered by my physical dimensions, my ornery-ness, my multitudes of faults and inadequacies.

and God loves me, for He gave me my parents, that i may have such love on earth as I have from my Heavenly Father.

He answered my prayers, and for that i am defeated, euphoric, grateful, and repentful all at once. it was not a miraculous revival, but the smoking embers of my heart where my faith lies have been stoked, and the flame is back. i may be one of the unworthy, who would not fully believe unless i see, but i thank the Lord for His signs of love on the day of my birthday. so now i know i can do better: to reaffirm my belief until it is fully independent, for the Lord said,"You who have seen believes, but blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

i lead a blessed life.

my favourite worship song is "More than life"... ok this is a little sidetracked. but yeah just for the record. haha.

anyway the rest of the day was spent with HT (she looks so lovely with her new curls!) trekking through the sales at causeway point, whereupon we enjoyed ourselves immensely trying on stuff that NEVER fits me :D and stuff that caught her eye. in the end she had in her possession a wonderful, elegant cream embroidered dress, a fluffy CREAMPUFF skirt :D (why does everyone contrive to be fluffy creampuffs lately??) and a frilly pink top that has the soft frills arranged to look like convergent foamy waves on the seashore. oh, and a multicolored pearl bracelet. my spoils of war were much greater in number: 3 pairs of jeans, a pair of flowery pointy toed shoes, a pink necklace, 1 white spag top, 2 cardigans and a bra. hahahahaha. if clothes and accessories were artillery, i'd be on par with the US Defense Force ^_^ we also parked ourselves in front of the chocolate stall in Cold Storage and ate up all the Aunty's stock of samplers. haha :D i must say, the white chocolate with almonds tastes AMAZINGLY like dabaitu nai tang :P very sweet. i think my teeth rattled in their sockets when i tasted the morsel of *ahem* aphrodisiac. i was merrily educating the Aunty on the beneficial effects of PEA that is in chocolate :D but her tales of customers buying containers of dark chocolate and eating them for breakfast, lunch and dinner and YET NOT GAIN WEIGHT is simply fatally unconvincing :P

after the excellent shopping spree, we wanted to try the apple-shaped peach flavored japanese ice cream dessert as well as the tempura ice cream at this place called Ichiban Sushi, but it was already time for me to meet my clan at GV yishun for a movie, so i made a date with HT to meet again next weekend to massacre the sales at Orchard (far east, suntec and the whole stretch in between!) :)

oh anyway, the movie we watched was Re-Cycle. it was touted to be horrendously hair-raising, but i found myself stifling a yawn and actually dozing off in the middle of the movie. not only was it diasppointingly devoid of creepy-crawlies and eeeky-weekie elements, it was an EXTREMELY grotesque rip off from Mirrormask (esp the library scene and the floating bits near the Transit area masquerading as original ideas despite their appearance in almost the exact same form in Mirrormask). i was so disappointed. i was NOT scared, i was BORED, and i was IRRITATED. the plot was completely boring anyway. around halfway in the movie they decided they have run out of ideas to scare people and resorted to simplistic, unconvincing gore and Family Planning, "Family Day" campaigns.

sigh. haha bad movies are the norm, anyway. but i feel that it's a huge pity that the pang brothers are losing their touch of being able to scare people subtly, like in The Eye.