returned in time for...HNY Countdown

wheeew. got discharged in time to get back home and enjoy sparkling pseudo-champagne with my family.

NUH service is still good. no trace of the terrorist nurse this time :) my 4 open wounds hurt like hell. like someone plunged a mini motorized screwdriver into each one (esp the left and middle ones) and plugged in the power.

nevermind. got 3 kinds of painkillers that don't really work to tide me over this festive season :D as long as i don't have to say "ten, nine, eight...three, two, one!!!" on a hospital bed i guess i can stomach just about anything else :)

just caught up on all my kakis' blogs. pam ur fengshui isn't good. u keep fainting at that spot and i tell u the marble'll crack from the sheer weight of ur bloody brainy head and ur house valuation'll drop. so stop standing there and enjoying ur syncopes. kn is happy with her cards and gifts and finally found peace from her terrorist classmates. denise's blog is stuck at prom and loads super slowly. not good for NANA who has to grit her teeth to stop screaming bloody hell from the pain of sitting upright. *tsktsk* ll is having a kinky affair with the guy who sells windchimes (hahahaha!!!). dawn has a new blog, which looks great :)

seeing all my friends happy infuses me with a REAL festive season feeling. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone. go easy on the champagne :D

6 days to labwork!

only 6 days, 144hours, 8640minutes, 518395 seconds to start of work! (5 secs allowance for me to type - i'm known to be an excruxiatingly slow typist hehe)

mum wonders why i'm so darned happy to start work when the pay's paltry (350 a month for 12hrs per day, 5 days per week work). that sort of works out to be S$1.45833... per hour of work. and if that isn't the darned lowest manual labour rate in Singapore, well i'd eat my fart :) okok! i promised my mum to not be so obscene (on account of my being a girl). so if that isn't the lowest rate i'd consume my gaseous methane production (rear ended). hurhur :D

anyways. hope you guys had e bestest christmas :) and hope you guys don't have serrated throats from the awfully dry fit-to-spontaneously-combust turkeys :) i had a great christmas feast at my aunt's condo after the race by jess' church on the 24th, where we barbequed (err... my uncle-in-law barbequed >_<) and ate and drank like merry wise men (and women. and girls. and boys. and 1 homosexual. who is my brother. who likes pink.). the children had loads of fun and loads of presents. the adults caught up on gossip. i explained my desire (or not) to apply to be a lawyer, or teacher. and all promptly suggested that i pick up driving (if you want a plastered tree and a plastered me) and apply for NUS (which i will - adequately brainwashed by them haha).

my partially drunk and completely exhausted (cum soot-faced) uncle started off on his litany of how many of his colleagues holding mechanical engineering degrees went off to be teachers. and purportedly one of his primary school Chinese teachers got sent to Woodbridge cos e guy couldn't take the stress of teaching those young cods. moral of the story? if the students do badly, IT'S NOT THE TEACHER'S FAULT! (wow. where'd i hear that before??)

yesterday i went to Sakura (Tampines SAFRA) where i ate and ate and ate till all my family members burst (whereupon we had to beat a hasty retreat from the restaurant). i ate 8 heaped plates of food but i SURVIVED! woohoo. and to speak the truth, i REALLY wasn't that stuffed yet. think i was only what? 70% full. or even 65%. my family has minute appetites next to me. (but reptilian next to others, i'm sure. cheer up mum! :D) and dun tell jess! (she'd poke a pyramid sized hole in me with the hamper i sent her haha)

pambam was in MBK last night, too! haha. eh seriously. i saw a shawl at MBK selling for 500B which was perfectly identical (plastic wrapper and all) to the one i bought in Chinatown for just 140B! haha. dun buy stuff from MBK unless you really really really will die without it. it's a tourist haven (thus a shopkeepers' haven). only buy ur tu-chan (local produce, like durian cakes, pork floss crackers etc.) from the shop at the top floor next to the food court. and the dinner gowns (if you can fit. i didn't think they'd entertain my request of sewing 2 suits together. they didn't.). otherwise, just look see look see. oh i bought 3 casual bags from there! but it was a clearance sale. everything was going at 199B each!!!!!!!! how could i resist??????? haha. yeah. *wags finger at pambam* hey u being half thai with no binte, u ought to know that malls are money strippers. the REALLY good shopping is done in roadside alleys like Chinatown's! *biangs palm against side of pambam's head* and having no pornporn is no excuse, dah-ling :) and i'm thinking of the sharks' fin and birds' nest there again :) sigh. i shall go again in june!!!!!! hyukhyuk. armed with my paltry pay and what's left of it.

kn's comprrrrraining that i've been too AS to go summit. well wait till pambam's back la! then i can distribute my dusty goods and collect my pirated HPGOF from her (yay cheap vcds from MBK!!!) :P

i certainly hope Daniel Radcliffe doesn't start the first scene with sawasdee-krap. i think i'd flip haha :)

furry murry

rainy days are good for cuddling up in a fetal position in bed, half enshrouded by the warm quilt and eyes firmly glued onto the words in a book.

preferably a King, Koontz, Archer, Kellerman, Evanovich or Hiaasen masterpiece :)

chinese medicince makes a person fart. or rather, my version of the powdered cow's manure (it certainly smells worse than it looks, and tastes A LOT WORSE than it smells) makes me fart like a choo-choo train that got disoriented. sigh. i might be named an official methane collection centre soon if this doesn't stop :)

this morning was dedicated to prayers for my paternal ancestors. i was salivating over their food! heh. it was delicious... tofu and fishball soup, steamed fish Teochew style, roasted meat (e quivering 3 layers kind), tau kwa, handmade glutinous rice balls, meepok, soon kuey, charsiew and big meat pau, tau sar piah, huat kuay, yam cake... @_@ it was all i could do to keep myself from plunging headfirst into the soup cos the aroma was just too tantalising.

thereafter my mum tossed 2 coins to determine if they've come and done a nice ghostly visitation :) and if they're done sampling the dishes. jerlyn was wailing nonstop to be allowed to eat the food - that sort of drove my mum nuts :) so she stuffed her a bottle of milk to shut her up. when my 3 ancestors were done eating (they even had French brandy!), we trundled out of the house and headed downstairs to burn the paper offerings. i remember that it used to be a huge, red chest painted with elaborate lion motifs, but this time round it became 3 smaller green and red bundle-packets. i guess the economy's not doing very well heh :) eh seriously. i believe that one can estimate the current economic status in S'pore by observing the contents of paper offerings burnt to dead relatives at those big festivals (Tang Chuek, Ching Ming). my mum said that we had to open up the "door" to invite the ancestors to help themselves to the burnt paper money, so we had to burn this special white, plain strips of paper to open the aforementioned door. jerlyn clamoured to have her own pile so we allowed her to have a small stack, which she promptly scattered all over the 100m radius around her, and anywhere but into the pyre. i had the unenviable task of going after those errant pieces of paper (but i'd very much rather go after my errant sister's neck hehheh) and expose my hair to the raging flames.

when we went downstairs the sky was a clear white stretch of clouds, but just right after we finished watching everything burn the sky overhead became a disturbing, roiling brackish-grey. yeah, brackish. like the muddied water in a stale pond. soon after the first raindrops fell, but we've already gotten into the dry void deck. mum says the rain always unfailingly comes during such festivals cos the ancestors are crying for our filial piety, and to show their unwillingness to leave the mortal world. the tears are purportedly a sign that they've heard our prayers and are blessing us.

of course, skeptics have given perfectly reasonable scientific explanations: the huge volume of burning all over the island led to increased surface evaporation, leading to rapid cloud formation and rain precipitation. as a student of science it's perfectly logical to be inclined towards this school of thought.

but there's still this little part of me that wants to believe that my ancestors have heard our prayers, and are crying for us as a blessing.

the big 50!

hi all!

this is the 50th post on this blog, which is simply the most amazingly long track record i have for blogging. its unfortunate predecessor managed to survive a mere 3 posts. haha :) it's mainly the comparative difficulty in logging on to the Internet and then pecking down your thoughts (which renders most of them lukewarm by the time the darned modem stops screeching). but anyway, let's bring out the imaginary champagne and toast! to the next 50 posts!!!! :"D

i've just been to research on the Basic Theory Tests (plus examine the free trial questions). i must say that it's a very tedious process to qualify for a driver's license here. and my dad says i ought to take the "harder" class 3 version cos 3A doesn't allow upgrading. or something like that. to me it's just the same, i'll just get a car that fits the license. i'm more of a utilitarian person, the car model really doesn't make a big difference to me as long as the steering wheel and gearstick work. and it fits 5 giants :) oh. but maybe not if the car color's something like fuchsia. or canary yellow.

jess is off today to phuket!!! :) happy holidays, dear.

i've also managed to find a site that offers free MCAT 3 trials, anyone who's interested in a medical degree from USA via the NTU-MCAT route can check out http://www.e-mcat.com/. it's quite a good testsite, you can customise your test (like the time limit, prompting, answers and all). though i have a problem with the physical sciences part. the questions were off the wall (i got on average 1 or 2 out of 6 wrong), and they tested on the physics-theory workings of the cathode ray tube and liquid-vapor critical pressures. i was utterly flummoxed and accumulated 5 mistakes by the time i got to question 32. which gives me a pretty low total avaerage :P have to start mugging for it. am totally unenthusiastic about reading on stupid photon collisions in anodes. or whatever. the bio sciences was a breeze though (hehheh). i guess it's the classical "you win some, you lose some" situation. but i seriously worry for people like me who naively think that the NTU bio science premed course will prepare us adequately. cos besides the stupendously difficult physics questions, the 2 essays are also very hard. GP-style with emphasis on examples (or else you're OUT at first strike). so it's kind of hard to imagine myself getting anywhere close to the ideal score of 36-40.

i also read up on testimonials and forum notes by med sch applicants. American BSc holders are alr finding it hard to apply for, and successfully wangle an interview out of, the more common med colleges. their primary problem lies in location. though i believe that'll be less of a problem for me (i dun foresee myself having to uproot my family with me to college) though with the stiff competition i think external applicants like me are looking at a severely decimated chance of acceptance unless i have a glowing testimonial, perfect GPA and MCATs, and have loads of experience and exposure.

haha. all in all today has been a research-intensive day. plus i booked a weekend hotel stay as a birthday treat for my mum :) she'd like the freedom of exploring orchard for a change. eyeballs currently registering loads of concentric circles from the 5-hr long monitor-squinting marathon :D take care all! stay safe, healthy, happy and dun overwork yourselves!

and ask me out for a kopi! before i get cocooned in all this research and forget about the outer world :D

pet peeves

i dunno what sets off my lateral inferior rectus muscle spasms more, the qualification that i'm MADAM tan SHEEEE YEEEEEENG with a 2D code number (instead of a visceral, fuming 3D, or even 4D, person) or that all surgeons are infinitesimally more interested in the multiple golfing-putt holes on my lower abdominal region than who or what I am.

today i visited the []GH SOC C to consult the erudite, eminent A/P WWK. his initials reminded me of my currently umemployed status cos it simply looks like a blaring notice spelling WORK. or the abbreviation of the aforementioned offensive word. my spirits drooped a little as my neural circuits configured his initials to my deepest woes. lol. this poor guy will live in darkness in some obscure part of my brain from then on, haha :P

[]GH because i dun wanna get sued for mentioning names. for which the blasted HR departments across S'pore are famous for, as Denise would agree with 2 hands and an armpit. cos they simply do nothing else that's within their job scope all day.

anyway. the A/P expressed his concern and disbelief that anyone could have 9 surgical operations squeezed into the short span of 16months. especially when i informed him 3 times that it all arose from 1 innocuous, harmless lil appendicectomy. the 9-ops-in-16-months thing is actually quite feasible. I mean, consider the cases of severe trauma patients, or burn victims. they undergo multiple times of those 9 operations. and a humungous lot more pain at each debridement session than I, the great meek creep coward, do at each dressing session. yes. from a medical point of view, there are so many cases of people who're more hardy under constant exposure to Halothane than me, so seriously. it's the 2nd eye-bugging-out-factor that i agree with.

so i marched off to my GP after i talked to the sparse-haired A/P (who further cements my theory that all intellectual men are bald or balding) and told him that I was sick and tired of being kicked around like a human ball. it's all and well to look like one but when the real action starts i dun really fancy the boot butts. and he said that nobody has a single faint INKLING of what weird crap is invading my adipose tissue (some really perverted martian bacteria?) so all they can do is that. kick me around. and i said i feel disturbed by it. and he said it can't be helped.

so i guess that's that. lol.

been putting my nose into science novels (try crichton, cook and preston) and came across impressive stuff. learnt more about quantum physics in 1 morning from crichton than what i grasped in all my life as a student (up till now, that is). picked up the jargon of quanta, quantum foam, transponases, prions, and amyloid proteins. i think i've discovered that learning through the eyes, or writings, of a person who has understood the topic from a layman's point of view (as is the case of crichton and quantum physics) helps to crunch the information down to sizeable, digestible chunks. i actually found it easier to visualize photon interference compared to a class presentation done just 6 months ago! yes. it's not so much of brain capacity but rather the relative ease of reception of the presented data. but there is a tangible downside to this, especially if the person has a less than perfect understanding of the topic he/she is trying to illuminate. the end results come out a little skewed to coerced conjugation into a convenient round whole, or miss significant bridging parts, or worst of all, are riddled with minuscule pockets of falsehood in the author's attempts to cover up his/her ignorance.

anyway. i need a one page long personal statement. preferably cogent, erudite, underscores my intellect and empatic nature, and nothing short of a positively glowing account of how angelic i am. which means i need to hire the world's best liar.

which means i'm employed. oh wow.

merrily ho

hoho, what a jolly old fella i am, hoho.
i eat like a hoary boar
i can't resist a cold Coors
hoho, what a jolly old fella i am, hoho.

heh. original christmastime spirit of the especially malevolent kind :) courtesy of the even more original-er NANA.

anyway. do you people out there really really know how to apply for scholarships and university courses? or am i the sole surviving retardence of the 17th century?

don't know nuts for nuts. and can't land a confirmed job.

i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo anally retentive i think i can start a crap museum.

but then again, things up on display at museums nowadays are even worse than my crap. at least mine has a pervasive, distinctive stink. theirs just sits there and rots. at a rate of 8 dollars per adult.

or something like that.

i'm gonna need something more than a knock out Coors, baby.

ghost poems

found some old relics of poetry amongst my dusty stuff... here's kohni's contribution...

Women's Woes (aka SHIT)

Sun rises and dawn breaks
Hangover pangs and ache streaks
Irksome pus enhances pimples' prominence
The price of decadence.

School beckons and children awakes (sic)
Hurried glances and breakfast cakes
Imbecile monsters saps the mood
The price of motherhood.

Shoulder aches and spints rage
Hot flushes and defunct marriage
Irreversible phase seeks corrective imaging
The price of aging.

Sanity crumbles and spine tumbles
Heightened phobias and banal rambles
Irate descendents bemoan your posterity
The price of longevity.

and then mine, which is about self-mutilation:

the slate hard floods
of ice cold rain
concela (her face)
in a slur of
teasing immaterial veil

she sits, splay legged
in the unrelenting
barrage

etching deep into her outstretched arm
allowing the
ghostly phantom leeches
drip crimson onto the running
ground. (almost vulgarly)
she smiles, wanly.

seeking brief reprieve from the hell she inhabits.

Sawasdee-kha, ker-khun-kha...

elloz, am back from my long sojourn out in the concrete, sooty, dusty wilderness of Bangkok. Gracelessly squandered S$1100 in glee, currently experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Am having semi-concillatory thoughts about those people who drink dettol to kill themselves when they can't cough up their debt payments, haha :) lol. pambam insisted that there was absolutely nothing to buy in Thailand. Either she's very wrong or i'm suicidally hallucinative. is there such a word? *mental note to check*

while i was showering in the pentagonal shower stall in the hotel suite in Bangkok on Day 3, i thought of the skeletal framework of a poem-novel-autobiography book i really really want to write and publish. hopefully pre-humusly haha :) lol. but first things first - get a job to earn back every damned cent i spent in Sin City!!!!!! eeeargh. i'm as hooked to shopping as a recalcitrant gambler is to, well, gambling. lol. except that in my trade there's never any chance of my getting any winnings. always out, never in. so why do i do it?

go ask those stoned bankrupt maniacs and ditto that for my answer :)

meanwhile the skeleton is shelved and KIV-ed and cold storage-ed till further inspiration strikes :)

anyway. attended prom last night in *SCANDALOUS* jeans. to ritz carlton hotel. oh my. when i entered the toilet where 20 over silk-enshrouded beauties were busy fanning themselves to prevent asphyxiation from their corsets, all 40 over eyes stared at me as though i was the toilet cleaner. so i slunk into the nearest cubicle, waited for the beauties to snort superciliously and leave the toilet before i re-emerged and slunk back into the hall. where i hid amongst my beautiful friends and munched quietly on my food. 80 bucks leh!!!! haha.

at least the sharks fin soup got the occasional shred of fin. or maybe it was well-disguised beehoon on an espionage mission. whatever it is, it got eaten by me haha. everyone ignored the emcee and the food until the sharks fin course, where suddenly all the flashlights stopped flashing (and i realised how dim the hall really was) and slurping noises erupted simultaneously from all tables. i think the emcee was having an aneurysm when he realised how shi-bai he was next to a small cupful of broiled sharks fin :D

alicia (nominated prom queen) gave me a raised eyebrow lookover and managed to choke out "you look DIFFERENT, Serene" before rushing off (to giggle her guts out no doubt). fuchsia colored firecracker with tomato puree hair. how not to laugh, i ask u? i totally don't (have the heart or rights to) blame anyone who laughed (inwardly or outright) at my forlorn appearance yeaterday. alicia looked like a queen next to me haha. in fact i looked like the classical hapless, fat to-be-executed peasant. yeah. different, definitely. i'm as prom-mish as a watermelon is a red meat. lol. i half-expected the security guards to come in halfway through my roasted chicken course and demand i leave earlier so as not to sully the carpet on which the rich, beautiful and worthy will tread on on their way out later. lol. or maybe they'll request that i lie there so the abovementioned can step on me on their way out so as not to dirty the soles of their diamante, Manolo-Blahnik-ed shoes. haha.

well anyway most of my class people were nice enough not to cringe when i slipped amongst their midst to try to get a few shots :) heh well i did pay so i guess peasant or not i'm still entitled to some pictures lol. i just apologise for my really sorry looks and even sorrier attire.

anyway we spent the night at Jessica's place, which certainly cut costs by a lot, and generally had some fun :) i played monopoly till 3.30am, whereupon according to jess and olivia, just as they were sarting to build property, i just "plunked backwards and passed out and snored". haha. so glamorous. not. apparently i was on a losing streak, cos i faintly recall being the banker and handing handfuls of money (rent) and green cubes (houses) to the 2 of them. haha.

well and someone is jealous that a guy gave me a rose. i say: grow up. and if u're so insecure, mister, get another girlfriend. i hate babies.