new pictures... a brand new cycle of ethereal beauty

hellos people!!!!! gosh how happy i am to be able to blog once again *strips masking tape exuberantly off my lips* yay no more computer ban! well until the end of this week, that is.

i have so many pictures to share... i think i'll probably be here till AD3056 if i were to attempt to give a worthy caption to every picture, so i'll leave these eloquent pixels to talk to you as they have talked to me - by capturing those timeless moments of my life, i now present them to you!

oh before i do all the attach picture thingies... a quick run down of the amazing love in my life since i last blogged (in the middle of prep for CAs):

1) God has blessed my family with a brand new, coochie-coo, Johnson-and-Johnson-shampoo smelling little bundle of joy with 46XY chromosomal complement! i'm pleased to announce with great aplomb the much anticipated arrival of baby Luke aka xu hao xiang (yes, yes, another one of those immeasurably difficult chinese names that even the baby can't write properly by K2) - this little baby, named after a great book of the Bible and after the legendary luke skywalker (his dad is a star wars fan), has fallen in love with me! yes i declare it. he is MINE so shoo shoo all you dirty meathooks :D haha. nobody could please him except my heartrending rendition of rockaby baby :D do u have any idea how absolutely XING FU it is to watch a baby yawn and fall asleep in your arms? he was blinking and gazing up at me non stop even when all e other aunties were clamouring for his attention - now that's what i call great charisma, people. (sign up for NANA's course in baby attention capturing at any NANA-tic counters, S$48 for 2 hrs) i am so so so so so going to have my 5 kids. let's see anyone try to stop me hahahaha~ *manic laughter*

2) God has also brought together in holy matrimony 2 very beautiful people, Hsiao Yuen and her spanking new hubby, Mr Edwin Hong. i was extremely touched and inspired by how they made God the very centre of their relationship and their wedding on Sat... indeed that is nothing less than what every Christian child of God should aspire for - a strong partner who has first an unshakeable foundation in his/her love for God and faith in the Gospel, then a love and passion for things on earth. so despite my very wonderful phone not being able to zoom up close to the bridal couple, let me assure you that the bride was one of the most beautiful ladies i've ever contemplated. as the bridegroom rightly put it as he thanked his new mum and dad (in law), Hsiao Yuen was indeed a very beautiful bride that day.

3) and thank God for rara, steph, and the 4 quasimodos of the lab! (just kidding, really. dun kill me!) i had a great, great time after the wedding, even if we didn't watch a movie. in fact, i really liked the coffee session more than any movie. and yes, a foot spa is GREAT rara! next time i'll wear open shoes and get beautiful toes like yours! :D

have to take a break. need a breather from all the insane, mindless mugging... it's gone far, far beyond the call of reason, to the point that i was tangibly asphyxiating in the thick gelatinous glut of details, sea upon sea of swelling details, none of which i recall after i wake from the numb semiconsciousness i call studying.
my release lies in my friends. the tight circle of good people who love God with me, and who cheer me up (to no end) and encourage me with little hissed GAMBATTEs when the going gets tougher than i thought i could ever be. i report to school every morning, and begin the solemn pilgrimage through the ruins of time that no living Man dared tread till now. referring, of course, to the darned notes, and the textbooks, all clamouring to engorge themselves with the most mundane, irrelevant and useless details. can you imagine how difficult it is to sustain life in such a harsh environment? picture a barren desert of scorching sun and malevolently swirling sand, blurring your vision and choking your throat till every breath you take becomes an uphill task, and all this while you cannot even begin to imagine the release awaiting you at the end of this synthetic tormenting landscape. nothing but a monotonous repeat of sand and sun for as far as your ailing eyes can see and your exhausted mind can comprehend.
i'm starting to just imagine what Jesus had to go through during His 40 days of fasting and resistance of Satan's temptations.
i was just telling slummi yesterday about me and my weaknesses when it comes to asking for God to intervene in my life... i'm the exhortion for permissive will kind. haha :D it just makes me LOL everytime i think of the recent misadventures i've unwittingly traipsed into, only to find out it didn't work out as well as planned but nonetheless i've still emerged unscathed even though every one was a harrowing near-miss, and it just strikes me that i am so freaking blessed that i could possibly try sprinkling some fine colored dust above my head and VOILA! you guys might just see a permanently attached angel hovering over my head, having an aneurysm and gastric ulcer from the constant stress of having to protect me from my madcap attempts at being a hero. i'm a pretty dumb little girl. i think i'm smart, or maybe at times i think i'm pretty much invincible. but then i don't realise what i do is really because God allows it to happen. brings to mind the story of how the little fieldmouse terrorized the entire forest into being afraid of it, simply cos it was walking in front of the fearsome lion. the little fieldmouse thought it was great and capable and awesome, but if the lion just deigned to step aside for a moment, you can just imagine what the dinner menu for the forest creatures will be for that evening.
i really need to get back into the habit of... i really need to thank my God. my Father. sometimes it's hard, but i believe that as long as i put in the effort to build a solid foundation for my faith, i wouldn't need the "1m tall stuffed toy Jesus" i asked slummi for yesterday :D problem with me lies in that i'm too engrossed in things of the moment and i tend to need tangible things to move me. isn't this the case for so many of us nowadays? our hearts are cold and weary and we simply turn on the default cynic mode whenever it comes to matters of the heart. by matters of the heart i refer to all the love in our lives - not just the smoochywoochy kind. includes family (asking myself: when was the last time i kissed my father? when was the last time i praised my brother? when was the last time i didn't automatically divert all my sister's requests to the maid? when was the last time i felt thankful for them in my life? was it only because of times of need or in times of ill health or difficulty that i turn to the Lord and grovel wretchedly before Him for Him to bless us all? doesn't that make me my world's worst hypocrite?) and friends (when was the last time i didn't remember someone's birthday only after a reminder? when was the last time i met up for a good heart to heart talk to ask about the lives of my closest friends? when was the last time someone told me i was valued in his/her life?). i've lost my eloquence and i've lost the ability to express myself articulately, with confidence, when compared to before. it's something i mourn and something i want back in my life... but more than anything else, if i could have just one thing on earth, is to have love for everything. i want to shed my coat of self-engrossment and passing impressions. i want to experience every moment of my waking moment in rich mode, i want to feel every single fibre of my emotions. i want to stand in the cold rain in the night and sing out loud and feel my tears run down my face. i want to throw away all the meaningless fights for status or popularity - i want to live my life my way and let that, by the grace of God, be the NANA that my friends recognize as a friend, confidante, mentor, kaki, sister... the list, i believe, is inexhaustible.
i want to be held as i cry out every single last drop of anxiety and resentment in my soul. i truly believe crying is cathartic, but being an asian it seems rather unacceptable to weep your guts out in public. no matter - i can denounce my race for the chance to be cleansed of the ghouls in my closet. the one thing i won't denounce is my citizenship in heaven! haha ^_^ well, of course. there's no 2 ways about it, and even if there were (well there IS cos God gave us the choice of life and death) i have only one choice.
even as i type this so many songs of worship are flying through my head and i can't help but share snatches of it with you all before i end this post and return to my world of mugging:

our God is an awesome God/He reigns from heaven above/with wisdom, power and love/our God is an awesome God
one way/Jesus/You're the only one that i could live for/You are the way, the truth and the life/We live by faith and not by sight for You/we're living all for you
You are my shield, my strength/my portion, deliverer/my shelter, strong tower/my very present help in times of need
so here i am to worship/here i am to bow down/here i am to say that You're my God/You're altogether lovely/altogether worthy/altogether wonderful to me
Jesus i believe in You/and i would go/to the ends of the earth/to the ends of the earth, for You/alone are the Son of God/and all the world will see/that You are God, that You are God

there are so many more that just makes me so happy i could die right now thinking of God and His love... i'm suddenly struck by how poor i was without Him in the past. haha. now i'm rich and "my soul is satisfied as with the richest of foods" (from a psalm but i've forgotten which one).
oh and my aunt is, even as i type this, in the midst of her first delivery... and we're 15 days away from witnessing the holy matrimony of one of my best colleagues from the lab. the pain of the world and the sufferings would never cease until the day Christ comes again to take away all pain and sorrow, but i think the celebration of life and joy even in our lifetime will snub Satan's futile attempt to wreak havoc... so i thank God for giving us happy thoughts in the midst of sadness, and for giving us the joy of knowing Him, and most of all, for the privilege to lean upon Him when we're weary.

it's 3.47pm and i will be gone from this place until the exams adjourn briefly next week, so till then, i pray that you will be well blessed with good health and good cheer :D